Every year I struggle with the holidays. It's a stressful time for me and I wish it didn't have to be. For many portrait photographers the holiday season is a very busy time. For me it means a lot of sessions, a flurry of holiday cards, late nights at the computer, busy Saturdays, lots of juggling and tight deadlines. As much as the workload can easily overwhelm me and it does, I feel extremely grateful that people choose me for such important work.

As I get older too, it seems like the "holiday magic" is more elusive. It feels so commercial (so many ads, a sale here and 50% off there). My family makes gift lists and we all exchange lists. It makes sense on one hand (you want to get something that people actually want) but it does take something away from my gift giving process. I don't know when the shine wore off of the lists but, for me, it definitely has. I used to love them when I was younger and it was all about getting tons of stuff and by making lists I got exactly what I wanted. Now that I'm older my "list" issue has more to do with my giving of gifts to others. The gift buying that requires me to really think about someone is the warm fuzzy part for me. I am thinking of the ones I love, why I love them and what they love. I'm not a religious person so, for me, the thinking about my family part is a huge part of the holiday magic and the list just sucks the joy right out the process.

So to combat my holiday stress and fatigue this year, I decided that I needed to find my holiday spirit in my own new way. Whenever I am feeling stressed out or down, the best redirection is gratitude. With this in mind, I turned my attention to ways that I could truly express gratitude. I am most grateful for two things in my life - my family and my talent. I don't know where or who I would be without my tribe and my camera.

I had been inspired a few months prior by another photographer named Tim Walden. We talked about a charitable project that he does where he gives a family one of his amazing relationship portraits. I knew that I wanted to do something similar but I just couldn't figure out who, how or when. Then I heard about a project / movement called Help Portrait, which was started by a photographer named Jeremy Cowart. It was perfect timing. I now knew exactly what I was going to do.

I have done volunteer work for the Houston Area Women's Center before and feel so strongly about the work that they are doing with families, women and children. HAWC helps women who have been victims of domestic abuse or sexual assault. They shelter women and their children when they flee abusive homes, they counsel rape survivors, they offer legal help, have weekly counseling groups, a food pantry and so much more. They give families a second chance at finding peace, hope and joy.

So, on December 12, 2009 I opened my studio to a small group of HAWC families and took portraits of them completely free of charge. It was amazing. Many of these families have been working with HAWC for a while now. They all had to start fresh with a new vision of what their family was going to look like. Many had to leave everything and start from scratch. I see the power of portraits every day and I knew that it would be the best gift that I could give.

Today we got them all ready and tomorrow we'll be delivering them to HAWC so the families can pick them up. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they open up these bags. Just the thought of it makes me feel full inside. So, thank you to the families that came and let me take their portrait and thanks to HAWC. You helped me find the magic again.