While I would like to say that snowmobiling was the best time and so much fun, I have to be real and say it was really, really challenging.  I had this idea in my head that we would be passengers and that a skilled, experienced driver would be showing us the awesome sights.  Sayer and I get there and I find out that it will be ME that is driving.  Mind you, I have seen snow maybe 3 times in my life and have never driven a snowmobile.  This idea sounds really scary to me. 

I don't want to chicken out and Sayer is super excited to go so I dig deep and sign us up.  We pick out our gear and get on a bus headed to wards to top of the mountains.  It has been snowing like crazy but there was a break and the sky was blue so I felt pretty good about it. 

When we get to the mountain top the sky is no longer blue and it is snowing again.  We are lined up next to the snowmobiles while the guide gives us a (literally) 5 minute lesson on how to operate them.  They look big, heavy and unweildy.  My anxiety level is so high at this point that I am starting to scan for the bus and decide which instructor I am going to tell that I'm not doing it.  Meanwhile Sayer is getting more excited and picking out which snowmobile we're going to ride.  Again, I dig deep and go ahead and start picking one out.

We get on and I go to put on my helmet.  I have never worn an all over type of helmet like this.  It goes all around your jaw and face, hugs your cheeks and has a visor and not very much of a peripheral field of vision.  Why is this relevant?  I am really claustrophobic.  I had no idea that a helmet would freak me out and it may have been worse because I was already so anxious.  I try breathing, I make mental conversation, "It's ok, it's ok, you'll be fine, just get going and you'll be fine".  Take it off, breathe and put it back on (a couple of times).

The guide comes over and I confess to him that I'm wigging out.  He was really nice and reassured me that it was okay.  I felt a little better (minutely) but now I also feel embarrassed.  I feel like a wimp, a scaredy cat, a weenie.  Those were the exact words in my head.  I just kept thinking, if I could just call Steven or Brene and get some support I'd be ok.  Brene would tell me that I am having a shame moment and that my feelings were real and I wasn't "a weenie".  Steven would have offered to come get me and would have told me that he loved me.  All of which sounded really good at the moment.

It's showtime, the snowmobiles are revving up and it's time to go.  I bite down and push in the throttle.  The guide is right in front of me as we head off.  To my immediate right is a snowy drop- not sure how far but the end could not be seen from my vantage point.  I go slow and try and keep behind the guide.  It goes this way for a while.  The claustrophobia subsides simply because I am so concentrated on keeping us upright, behind the guide and NOT flying off into the snowy abyss alongside us. 

This would not have been so hard if it had not been snowing so hard that it was what they call "white out conditions".  My helmet visor kept fogging up.  It was hard to discern where the trail was and where the edges of the trail were.  At one point I went off the trail and sort of crashed into a snow drift.  It was humiliating.  I felt like everyone was thinking, "she's so slow" and "can you believe she crashed?" .

I know this story sounds awful and you're probably wondering why you're still reading it.  It does get better, I promise.

As we head on, Sayer starts to get bored and actually falls asleep against me.  I have no idea how he could do that.  It was such  an disconnected moment.  Here I was terrified and white knuckled at the helm and he was ready for a snooze.  It made me laugh and laughter is always good in a stressfull situation.

The snow came and went and when the visibility got better so did the driving.  At one point, we starting to go through the forest, which was amazing!  I mean amazing in a "Planet Earth", Discovery HD TV, God's country kind of way.  It was breathtaking.  The trees stretched up so high and the snow was epic.  It will stand out in my mind as one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen.  It felt like a secret, a privilege, something so special that only a few people have witnessed it.  In reality I am sure many, many people see and have seen it but in that moment it felt like just me and Sayer alone in some magical place.  Sayer even woke up for it and let out a few "weeees!" as we went up and down hills and in between huge trees.

Finally it was time to head back.  My hands were hurting from the cold and my nerves were shot.  I had become a lot more comfortable but I was ready to be done and so was Sayer.  3 hours on that machine was all that I needed.

We got back to the bus all in one piece.  Our guide managed a picture of us with my iphone.  This is how Sayer rode the whole way- in front of me leaning back in to my chest.  AT one point the driver had asked, "would you feel more comfortable if he rode with me?" and my answer was an emphatic "No".  It was really conforting to have him there actually.

 

Everyone seems to be on the mend and we were able to get out and have some fun today.  We went sledding.  Being born and raised in Texas, snow is way foreign to me so I have never been sledding.  The day started off with some new shades for the boys.  You have to wear sunglasses here because it's all so white and bright.  My favorite part about these sunglasses are the flames on the sides!  They didn't have a pair in my size...

So, as much as I hate to admit it, my boys fight like crazy.  They are just so close in age and both boys and they just compete.  They fight over almost everything.  They do have these wonderful moments of awesome sharing and teamwork though and this happened to be one of them.  Normally they would be fighting over who was going to hold the rope or who was pulling to hard, too fast, too much, who was going to be first, who was going to be fastest, whose sled it was....

On our first sled ride down with me and the two boys, we crashed.  Like I said, I have never been sledding.  We careened into a snow bank, Sayer lost his glasses and bit his lip, Finn lost a glove and I got snow up my jean legs.  It wasn't my most graceful moment.  We recovered though.  We found glasses, kissed boo-boos, replaced gloves and shook off the snow.  As the day wore on I discovered that Seven is a much better sledder than I am.  Finn and I opted to do more watching.  he let me take some cute pics of him too.

Sayer, on his way back for another go.  Actually, he was waiting for Steven to let him ride back up the hill.  He's smart.  If I could have gotten Steven to carry me or pull me back up I would have too.

Sometimes it is hard to know when to leave the party.  When you have a 3 year old, the signs become very clear.  This is an example of Finn saying something like this, "I have grown tired of sledding, I would like some lunch and maybe juice, and then I think I need to lay down and rest." 

On our way back to the car I looked up and saw this coolness.  I loved the way the snow made the sun almost look like a moon.

It's almost dinner and the snow is still falling.  It's really beautiful here.  I feel so far away and it seems not quite real.  It's just all white everywhere except for little houses peeking out along the mountain.  I imagine that this would be a great place to write a book, be an artist or go totally crazy.  I also imagine that summer here must be incredible.  The snow is hiding most of the landscape but it seems to me that it is full of little creeks, huge forests and meadows of green grass.  One cool little sight that I am planning to explore is this cemetery down the road that is totally covered in snow.  All you can see are the tops of the grave stones peeking out from the snow.  I already know the picture that I want- I saw it from the car window.

I smell dinner cooking.  Our travel mates are great chefs so we've been pampered with nice meals.  Time to eat!

A dark cloud of altitude sickness hangs over us all today.  It started late last night and both of the kids were throwing up all night.  Sayer spent most of the day looking like this...or worse.

When we finally took him into the local clinic he was like a zombie, literally.  He was out of it and lethargic.  he hadn't been able to keep any food or liquids down and he was exhausted.  They gave him Oxygen for about an hour and he totally perked up.  They gave Steven and I meds too because we had such bad headaches.  Finn awoke fine and was his normal self all day- poor little guy had to hang with us all day.  The clinic sent us home with an oxygen machine and that is really helping Sayer.  We all took much needed long naps.

After naps, Sayer perked up more.  It started to snow and we got to play outside a little.  We made snow angels, played Star Wars with toys in the snow and threw some snowballs at each other.  He also ate some dinner (and has kept it down so far), which was a HUGE relief for me.  He had nothing in his stomach all day except for a handful of raisins.  Our travel mates arrived this evening as well so hopefully the trip is off to a better start tomorrow.  The kids are really excited to try sledding.

I'll leave you with a lovely sunset from yesterday.  It snowed most of tonight, which was wonderful as well.  This is the view from our living room balcony.

We are on spring break!  Today we arrived here in Crested Butte, Colorado.  It is beautiful!!  Our kids have never seen snow so it's been a fun day.  Well, let me rewind. 

The first part of the day was, um, trying.  Traveling with little kids is just so difficult.  My kids were actually pretty good but we got seated behind this witchy, horrible woman who kept shooting us dirty looks and making these exasperated sounding sighs.  She made me so uncomfortable that it made my flight miserable and made me restrict my kids more than they needed to be.  She even made that same sigh and gave us a dirty look when we were walking out into the parking lot and Finn accidentally tripped on  an un-level concrete patch.  I mean, like is he not allowed to fall either?  Sheesh!  On a nice note, On our flight I saw a friend and client of mine, Jennifer Knupp.  She had her husband and kids and they were off to Telluride.  The last time I saw her and the kids was when I photographed Avery (her daughter) as a newborn.

Is it boys in general, all kids or just mine who can't resist an opportunity to pee outside?  Well, my guys had a blast with a quick roadside pit stop to pee in the snow. 

You know what they say about yellow snow... 

Once we were at the house, the kids were so excited to get outside and play in all the snow!

Sayer had so much fun eating the snow.  He ate icicles too! 

Steven joined in on the snow eating fun too. 

Look how happy Sayer is.  That's just amazing. 

This little tree is just outside the front door. 

After the snow play, we hung out inside drinking hot cocoa and watching The Little Rascals.

 I love watching them when they aren't watching me.

I'll leave you with the icicles off the back porch.  Sayer wants me to go cuddle with him while we watch a cool Nova episode about bees.  More later!

Am I the only one who has a mini love affair with their kids feet? I know it sounds weird but I just love their little feet! What is amazing to me about the love affair is this...it isn't JUST the feet (though the feet do rank really, really high). I love the way he curls up his toes when he's watching a movie, the way his cowlick in the front of his bangs pops out, his hands, The way he sits crossed legged sometimes at dinner, his amazing face, the way he looks in his Spiderman pajamas...ah, the list goes on and on and I have a whole other list for Finnian! I just marvel at how much I can love a person. The way that I love my kids is a force that cannot be reckoned with. I even love them dirty, cranky, rude, in the middle of the night, when they fight...again, the list goes on. Granted, I may not like them a whole lot during the aforementioned moments but the love remains solid. It is the definition of unconditional. For me, this crazy love, is one of the best gifts of parenthood. That love makes me want to love myself that way too and extend it on to my husband. I mean, wouldn't that be an amazing thing? That is what I am working on. Happy Love Thursday everyone- go marvel at your amazing kids!

Here's a few more of Sayer! Man, don't you just love him too?! LOL!