I did not expect to be having a third baby. I was a little heartbroken about it actually but I was coming to terms with it. I was going to be a mom of two, two boys. All of that has changed now. Not only are we having a third baby but, it's a girl! Us, girls? I didn't think it was possible. In fact, when they did the first ultrasound to check gender and told me it was a girl, I didn't 100% believe them. I kept it a secret from most people too just not feeling sure about saying it out loud. I just kind of figured that, after 2 boys, it would probably be another boy.
I am thrilled that it's a girl! I am terrified that it's a girl! When I was pregnant with Finnian, I knew what it was going to be like having a second boy. I had the boy stuff and I knew the boy toys, characters, tv shows, etc. What is this going to be like? You know, as soon as I type that, I know the answer. She will be as different as Finnian was from Sayer. She will simply be a third person to get to know. I'll have to get some new toys too probably and we'll watch some different movies...Of course, I will also get to buy cute ruffled pajamas and ballet socks too.
Part of the "terrified" feeling is that it's been 6 years since I was pregnant and that time passage has made this all seem so new. This pregnancy feels almost as novel as my first and I love that. It feels very special and scary at the same time. Last night I found myself wishing (almost in a panic) that I was at the end already and that she was being born. I have more fear this time around. This is the last baby and I want her so badly. I just want her to be safe and healthy and it's hard waiting for her. At the same time, this is my last pregnancy and I know I need to be cherishing that and be in the moment with her now and enjoy it. I know, once she's here that she'll take time away from my boys and I'm sad about that. I'm trying to be present with them now while they are still just two of them. Basically, I'm tender, confused, scared, excited, joyful, grateful and anxious all at once.
What about you friends? What are you thinking about this Friday? Do you have images to share? Please leave links to your images, blogs, Flickr, etc. I'd love it if you added your images to our Favorite Shot Friday pool on Flickr too.
Happy weekend everyone!
I am thrilled that it's a girl! I am terrified that it's a girl! When I was pregnant with Finnian, I knew what it was going to be like having a second boy. I had the boy stuff and I knew the boy toys, characters, tv shows, etc. What is this going to be like? You know, as soon as I type that, I know the answer. She will be as different as Finnian was from Sayer. She will simply be a third person to get to know. I'll have to get some new toys too probably and we'll watch some different movies...Of course, I will also get to buy cute ruffled pajamas and ballet socks too.
Part of the "terrified" feeling is that it's been 6 years since I was pregnant and that time passage has made this all seem so new. This pregnancy feels almost as novel as my first and I love that. It feels very special and scary at the same time. Last night I found myself wishing (almost in a panic) that I was at the end already and that she was being born. I have more fear this time around. This is the last baby and I want her so badly. I just want her to be safe and healthy and it's hard waiting for her. At the same time, this is my last pregnancy and I know I need to be cherishing that and be in the moment with her now and enjoy it. I know, once she's here that she'll take time away from my boys and I'm sad about that. I'm trying to be present with them now while they are still just two of them. Basically, I'm tender, confused, scared, excited, joyful, grateful and anxious all at once.
What about you friends? What are you thinking about this Friday? Do you have images to share? Please leave links to your images, blogs, Flickr, etc. I'd love it if you added your images to our Favorite Shot Friday pool on Flickr too.
Happy weekend everyone!
Trackbacks
Comments
cheryl says:
congratulations! love your honesty in this post. as a mom of two girls - i'm so excited for you! for my favourite shot (added to your flickr group this week!) i chose one of my girl - who is growing up and accomplishing new things each day:
http://www.candcphotographyandesign.com/2011/07/last-day.html
(07.01.11 @ 07:43 PM)
Rachel says:
I can not wait for this little one. I can't wait to find out what a girl will bring about and to see the boys interact with her. I hope they rub off on her and she likes zombies and other strange looking but totally lovable lovies. I can't wait to hear what her laugh sounds like and see her smile. I have grown to feel like a "cousin" of your wonderful family, and I'm sure as anyone who knows me can tell you I gush about your new baby ALMOST as much as I do about the boys (they are just such heart stealers). November is going to be a wonderful wonderful month, I have nothing but happy (actually bursting at the seems excitement and joy) thoughts and wishes for you and this pregnancy, and so much respect for your ability to share and put yourself out there.
(07.05.11 @ 03:46 PM)
Jennifer says:
I know a little girl who lives across the street who is more than willing to share with you (and Finn's new little sister) information about all the girl characters, toys, movies, baby dolls etc. She also told me she was willing to go shopping to help you pick out some clothes and shoes -- because every girl needs at least 20 pairs of shoes to match all their outfits. She is so excited about the new little girl she told me she was even willing to share some of her dress up clothes (that are now way too small) with her soon to be new neighbor because she could not even think of the little girl have to wear and/or play with boy stuff. She was saying all this as she putting on a fashion show and dressing her little brother in a pink tutu and flower headband : ) Have a great week !
(07.05.11 @ 04:20 PM)