This self reflection, put myself out there, show my art, change my life project is getting difficult. I'm stuck weighing out some really tough decisions about the direction I am taking. The easy part of my resolution is over. I took my art work to get photographed and I found out the submission deadline for a gallery I'd like to see my work in. I adjusted my schedule and I signed up for a workshop with a fellow artist. I started the process and checked off the fairly easy stuff but now the process is getting scary and difficult. I'm left with the much bigger decisions.

I spent the last week at a photography convention in San Antonio. I mentioned my resolution to a few other photographers and almost all of them agreed that their business had taken over their life and they were having a hard time balancing it all. I know I'm not alone in this fight. Part of me thinks it would just be so much easier to stay right where I am and do exactly what I'm doing and just try and do it better. That is a known quantity you see. The other part tells me to shake it up, fearlessly.

Right now I am working through a tough decision having to do with my current studio space that may entail a move in a few months. I cannot tell you how badly I do NOT want to move. Moves are distracting, expensive and difficult. This potential move may open some new doors though and help make some of my other projects move forward in new ways. The part of me that wants to just bury my head in the status quo and not change anything is worried about how my clients might perceive another move. Will they like a new space as much as my current one? The adventurous side of me sees the possibilities. The business side of me sees how it would make fiscal sense. The doubtful side of me is feeling, well, doubtful and distrusting.

(If you love this new image, entitled Dormant, it is available in my Etsy shop)

I'm trying to let all this sink in and not rush to decide anything but that's just uncomfortable. I want it to be decided and, preferably, by someone else who is never wrong. Anyone, anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

My Dad used to always tell me to go with my gut. It'll never steer me wrong. My gut feelings just aren't speaking very loud and clear at the moment.

On wednesday, I took my group of Hope Stone photo students to Hermann Park to shoot. All the while my thoughts were about all of this and it's amazing to me how much I see that in these images.

I'm going to try and adopt Kelly Rae's mantra of "brave in sadness, brave in love" and perhaps alter it to be something like, "brave in uncertainty, brave in hope".